![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
inbox (abraxas)
action | text | horizon
action | text | horizon
[ Pietro wasn't really that loud. It's hard to imagine what this Peter is like from that short description. ]
I know it can't be easy for either of you. He's not Pietro, you're not his sister.
But at the same time, there's something there, right? The two of you are going to feel drawn to one another either way.
[ If some alternate Bucky showed up here, Steve is pretty sure he'd feel magnetized to him somehow. He would sense that there was still the essence of his best friend there, even if he wasn't the exact same person. That's how he imagines it must feel for Wanda. ]
I know it can't be easy for either of you. He's not Pietro, you're not his sister.
But at the same time, there's something there, right? The two of you are going to feel drawn to one another either way.
[ If some alternate Bucky showed up here, Steve is pretty sure he'd feel magnetized to him somehow. He would sense that there was still the essence of his best friend there, even if he wasn't the exact same person. That's how he imagines it must feel for Wanda. ]
( it really feels like steve is becoming something of a therapist with a masters degree in maximoff shenanigans. wanda lets the words linger in her vision without a response until it all just fades away.
steve is right; she can't just ignore peter, and as much as it doesn't sit right with her, she does feel drawn to the guy. )
( and there's a softness to those words, like how she inherently understands and feels for peter because of that. like she can't help the fact that she will want to be there for him. )
steve is right; she can't just ignore peter, and as much as it doesn't sit right with her, she does feel drawn to the guy. )
He feels like he's a little lost.
( and there's a softness to those words, like how she inherently understands and feels for peter because of that. like she can't help the fact that she will want to be there for him. )
[ The joke is a relief, honestly, especially since he reads it as one and even lets out a short laugh to himself. That teasing is something familiar enough like nothing's changed even if he's aware on some level it likely has - not for Steve necessarily since he won't assume, but for himself. ]
You can say that again. And I'm alright enough, I think, considering... everything.
[ Speaking of tempting: it's entirely tempting to just leave that right there, like that really encompasses Everything and Steve totally wouldn't have more questions. His past self would have without a second thought. But that's not who he is anymore; on top of that, he's pretty sure that's what his supposed godly self would have done which is all the more reason to not. ]
Or so I hope since I think I might still need more time for a lot of it even if I've been admittedly thinking too hard about all of it. It probably goes without saying that who I became wasn't who I'd like to be in this life or any other one.
You can say that again. And I'm alright enough, I think, considering... everything.
[ Speaking of tempting: it's entirely tempting to just leave that right there, like that really encompasses Everything and Steve totally wouldn't have more questions. His past self would have without a second thought. But that's not who he is anymore; on top of that, he's pretty sure that's what his supposed godly self would have done which is all the more reason to not. ]
Or so I hope since I think I might still need more time for a lot of it even if I've been admittedly thinking too hard about all of it. It probably goes without saying that who I became wasn't who I'd like to be in this life or any other one.
[ He has run group therapy sessions now, so he's got some experience to pull on, and even before that he'd always done his best to be there for Wanda. ]
Lost because he just got dragged here? Or is it more than that?
[ Steve's going to assume it's the latter, or Wanda probably wouldn't have made a point of it. It sounds like there's more to it. ]
Lost because he just got dragged here? Or is it more than that?
[ Steve's going to assume it's the latter, or Wanda probably wouldn't have made a point of it. It sounds like there's more to it. ]
[ "Alright enough" is something, at least, but Steve is glad that Claude comes out with more after that, because otherwise Steve would have been forced to push the issue.
It doesn't take long for Claude to address the elephant in the room (or over the mental radio waves). ]
I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but there's no reason to assume that the things we remember are actually going to happen in reality.
Still, I get that it must be unnerving that there's even a chance of it.
It doesn't take long for Claude to address the elephant in the room (or over the mental radio waves). ]
I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but there's no reason to assume that the things we remember are actually going to happen in reality.
Still, I get that it must be unnerving that there's even a chance of it.
It's just a feeling I get. Like he's looking for something, or someone.
I'm trying not to get into his head, but he doesn't seem to realize that he spills his thoughts all over.
( that's what she means by 'loud'. pietro wasn't loud not because he wasn't the extrovert of the two, but because his mind and thoughts calmed wanda down. she just feels spikes of anxiety now. )
I guess I — feel responsible, in some way.
Honestly, I don't think it hurts for me or anyone else to hear a few more times.
[ Claude might need to hear it in particular and especially coming from a friend. Someone he values and has come to trust fully, which makes this conversation even more important.
Though it's the tiniest deflection to add 'anyone else' as a qualifier, it doesn't make it less true. Nor does it mean that yet again there's still not more to be added. ]
I won't pretend like I've ever been a saint by any standards - even with war and what it demands aside. Not having a lot of... or really, any friends growing up meant I had to find ways to stay a step or three ahead. Something I lived by and by that only for a long time, but not for some time now when it became more than that.
Seeing the scale it could go to if I'd made different choices was unnerving. Even if none of that actually happened - if there's a way to avoid it, I'd certainly like to.
[ Claude might need to hear it in particular and especially coming from a friend. Someone he values and has come to trust fully, which makes this conversation even more important.
Though it's the tiniest deflection to add 'anyone else' as a qualifier, it doesn't make it less true. Nor does it mean that yet again there's still not more to be added. ]
I won't pretend like I've ever been a saint by any standards - even with war and what it demands aside. Not having a lot of... or really, any friends growing up meant I had to find ways to stay a step or three ahead. Something I lived by and by that only for a long time, but not for some time now when it became more than that.
Seeing the scale it could go to if I'd made different choices was unnerving. Even if none of that actually happened - if there's a way to avoid it, I'd certainly like to.
He thinks a little too loud? You might want to let him know he's doing that if you haven't already. Then again, I'm not sure there's a way to turn down the volume on your thoughts.
[ But it's worth a shot. ]
I could tell you you're not, but I get that it's not a feeling you can really control.
If there's anything I can do to help with any of this, just say the word.
[ But it's worth a shot. ]
I could tell you you're not, but I get that it's not a feeling you can really control.
If there's anything I can do to help with any of this, just say the word.
It's like what we talked about before, isn't it? Seeing some other version of yourself or a future that you just can't imagine being yours. Except this was that times ten.
[ Hearing the actual facts from a trusted friend like Sam was one thing; having the Singularity shove experiences into his head was something else entirely. ]
If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that there are countless different possibilities for how the future can unfold. [ Just ask Dr. Strange. ] And there's no saying that what we went through is even one of them. It could just be a creation of the Singularity's to get under our skin.
So yeah, we avoid it.
[ Hearing the actual facts from a trusted friend like Sam was one thing; having the Singularity shove experiences into his head was something else entirely. ]
If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that there are countless different possibilities for how the future can unfold. [ Just ask Dr. Strange. ] And there's no saying that what we went through is even one of them. It could just be a creation of the Singularity's to get under our skin.
So yeah, we avoid it.
[ This time there's a pause before any response comes. A genuine one while he turns over those words carefully and several times over. It's a simplicity that, Claude has to admit to himself, not many of his paths of thought have followed when trying to figure out those plans for plans upon plans to consider it all for the future. Then again, maybe in sorting through it all he'd focused a bit too much on that ominous message he'd discovered in the Horizon as a surety.
Perhaps it'd be better to keep other things in mind as Steve has reminded him rather smoothly. As he exhales a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, that feels like relief. Another path to send his mind down, anyway. ]
You're right. Someone else from Fodlan pointed out much the same during the brief time he was here, that just because we knew of the differences between our memories that didn't mean there weren't an infinite number of other ways everything could have played out from even one single change.
I suppose the same will have to prove true for whether we have centuries ahead of us even if some kind of godhood isn't involved. Decades would have been surprising even with knowing that we're here until we leave. But does give us a chance to change some of it even if it seems like the nations themselves will face their own changes when that's another path we're all on.
Perhaps it'd be better to keep other things in mind as Steve has reminded him rather smoothly. As he exhales a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in, that feels like relief. Another path to send his mind down, anyway. ]
You're right. Someone else from Fodlan pointed out much the same during the brief time he was here, that just because we knew of the differences between our memories that didn't mean there weren't an infinite number of other ways everything could have played out from even one single change.
I suppose the same will have to prove true for whether we have centuries ahead of us even if some kind of godhood isn't involved. Decades would have been surprising even with knowing that we're here until we leave. But does give us a chance to change some of it even if it seems like the nations themselves will face their own changes when that's another path we're all on.
( well, that's a damn good piece of advice that wanda will consider for a while before actually taking any decisive action on it. )
Maybe I'll bring him around for Sam's Next Great Cookout in the Horizon.
I'm not sure why he got summoned into Solvunn, but if he's anything like Pietro was, he'll grow bored easily. It would do him good to know that there is more to this land.
There's a term for it, at least where I'm from. The butterfly effect. The idea is that if you went into the past, any small thing you did might cause a chain reaction that made the future look completely different. Even stepping on a butterfly.
If we want to think of it that way, we're in the past of those 800 years. We can do a whole lot of things to change the outcome that we saw, even if the Summoned don't number that many.
That beings said, I do wonder if a lot of people who planned on staying here will feel differently after all this.
If we want to think of it that way, we're in the past of those 800 years. We can do a whole lot of things to change the outcome that we saw, even if the Summoned don't number that many.
That beings said, I do wonder if a lot of people who planned on staying here will feel differently after all this.
That's all a very good point, especially when it's hard to say what might happen next week considering I doubt any of us would've thought we'd be sent to the Singularity.
[ A thought which makes him rather tired even if it's equally reassuring; he did mean it about that being a good point where there's so many paths they could take before them. Something which absolutely matters for Steve's last point, too. ]
I'd be lying if I said it didn't factor into my thoughts about staying, and not long after we talked through what that would mean on top of it. Where I landed in the end is that I still wouldn't give away the chance to keep what's been built here, troubling potential future or not.
But I also would understand if those who wanted to find a way home redoubled their efforts. With all that's happened it seems there's now other reasons we've been called here besides the verge of war.
[ A thought which makes him rather tired even if it's equally reassuring; he did mean it about that being a good point where there's so many paths they could take before them. Something which absolutely matters for Steve's last point, too. ]
I'd be lying if I said it didn't factor into my thoughts about staying, and not long after we talked through what that would mean on top of it. Where I landed in the end is that I still wouldn't give away the chance to keep what's been built here, troubling potential future or not.
But I also would understand if those who wanted to find a way home redoubled their efforts. With all that's happened it seems there's now other reasons we've been called here besides the verge of war.
To be honest, I'm tired of things just happening to us. I'd like to take charge and get ahead of things for once.
[ Easier said than done, of course. It's just a little bit of venting that he might not have let slip out with someone he didn't trust as much as he does Claude.
Either way, it's interesting to hear Claude's thoughts on staying or returning, and in some way it's nice to know that he's still committed to making Abraxas his home, even after all this. It means he has some sort of say in all this. ]
Like ascending to godhood, you mean? Yeah, even after 800 years of it that idea still feels so surreal. I assume that's not something you're actually interested in.
[ Easier said than done, of course. It's just a little bit of venting that he might not have let slip out with someone he didn't trust as much as he does Claude.
Either way, it's interesting to hear Claude's thoughts on staying or returning, and in some way it's nice to know that he's still committed to making Abraxas his home, even after all this. It means he has some sort of say in all this. ]
Like ascending to godhood, you mean? Yeah, even after 800 years of it that idea still feels so surreal. I assume that's not something you're actually interested in.
Solvunn will not be enough to contain someone with his energy, so the more ground he has to keep himself busy, the better.
( has she given a lot of thought to the prospect of her actual brother arriving in abraxas, and how his speed warps his thoughts and energy? definitely. it's just a different version of her brother, even if she isn't too keen on calling peter that. )
Tell him whatever much you like.
I doubt you guys are keeping many things from each other anyway.
( hmMM )
You and me both. I've never been one to sit around and let things happen. It feels like that's been the case for me lately when one thing's happened after another, and I don't care for it. Perhaps it's time to find where the line might be drawn in what those in charge will allow with a bit of careful testing for it.
[ It's a relief to hear Steve feels the same; even if they've said as much to each other in past ways before in other conversations, to hear a confirmation of it is a reassurance all over again. There's almost certainly limits to what can be done, but there must also be something. ]
Definitely not. I didn't care for the blind reliance people put into the pantheon of gods I grew up with nor for the same in Fodlan's goddess. There's also the matter of living for 800 years which I can't say I want to do here or anywhere else.
[ It's a relief to hear Steve feels the same; even if they've said as much to each other in past ways before in other conversations, to hear a confirmation of it is a reassurance all over again. There's almost certainly limits to what can be done, but there must also be something. ]
Definitely not. I didn't care for the blind reliance people put into the pantheon of gods I grew up with nor for the same in Fodlan's goddess. There's also the matter of living for 800 years which I can't say I want to do here or anywhere else.
Maybe you could send him on an errand to one of the other settlements?
[ Just spitballing here.
But wow, what is that meant to imply, Wanda. Steve is just going to play it cool. ]
Sure, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of keeping a secret if that's what you wanted. Or if you just wanted to tell him yourself.
[ Just spitballing here.
But wow, what is that meant to imply, Wanda. Steve is just going to play it cool. ]
Sure, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of keeping a secret if that's what you wanted. Or if you just wanted to tell him yourself.
Is there something specific you had in mind with this "careful testing"?
[ Because he'll admit, he's curious. ]
Yeah, godhood aside the whole living forever thing isn't really something I'm interested in either. I have to imagine that's the case for most of us.
[ His muddled memories tell him he thought that way even as he'd started to age more and more, without actually aging physically. Maybe humans just weren't meant to live that long, and so they'd had no choice to become something else. ]
[ Because he'll admit, he's curious. ]
Yeah, godhood aside the whole living forever thing isn't really something I'm interested in either. I have to imagine that's the case for most of us.
[ His muddled memories tell him he thought that way even as he'd started to age more and more, without actually aging physically. Maybe humans just weren't meant to live that long, and so they'd had no choice to become something else. ]
Honestly? I wish. For as magnanimous as the Free Cities claims to be towards us, there's too many unknowns yet about where exactly the boundary is in what we're allowed to do for lack of a better term. The first step would be prodding along that to find out where it is, though even the options from there are endless. Then again, the extremely public hanging from a few months ago comes to mind with those possibilities.
[ He's not forgotten about that, nor is that a risk he's willing to take for himself or anyone else. ]
The easiest way would be to get involved with the military but I don't think I need to expand on my reservations with that when I know we both share them. Aside from that, the next logical step would be to find some other sort of in with the government if we have a few centuries ahead of us to spare. Those are risky odds, though, and the last thing I'd want to do is endanger anyone here.
[ He's not forgotten about that, nor is that a risk he's willing to take for himself or anyone else. ]
The easiest way would be to get involved with the military but I don't think I need to expand on my reservations with that when I know we both share them. Aside from that, the next logical step would be to find some other sort of in with the government if we have a few centuries ahead of us to spare. Those are risky odds, though, and the last thing I'd want to do is endanger anyone here.
I feel like they must know how bad of an idea it would be to publicly target any of us like that, but I don't blame you for being concerned about it. I wonder if using the Conclave to test our limits is the best option, although that means all of us have to be on the same page.
[ It means all of them, as a group, would be implicated in those choices. Which is a double-edged sword from Steve's perspective. ]
Finding an in to the government might be something you could do without the rest of the Summoned getting dragged into it, but it's a dangerous road either way. On the other hand, it would get us a little closer to the inner workings of the Free Cities.
[ If anyone could handle that sort of balancing act, it would be Claude. ]
[ It means all of them, as a group, would be implicated in those choices. Which is a double-edged sword from Steve's perspective. ]
Finding an in to the government might be something you could do without the rest of the Summoned getting dragged into it, but it's a dangerous road either way. On the other hand, it would get us a little closer to the inner workings of the Free Cities.
[ If anyone could handle that sort of balancing act, it would be Claude. ]
Page 15 of 20