assembles | inbox (abraxas)

[ Steve's already gathered from Wanda herself that there was something there between her and Matt, a conversation had almost offhandedly while they scaled a building filling with ooze. For that reason, he wonders for a moment why she's bringing it up again, but then the next few messages filter in, her script tight and nervous. ]

No one would ever assume you'd forgotten him, Wanda. Grief doesn't work that way.
But don't you also think that Vision would want you to be able to move on? He'd want you to be happy.

[ Odd to think he's saying this about an android (synthezoid?), but Vision has proven he has a soul more times than Steve could count. Wanda always saw it. ]

And what did you say to Matt?

I know. I know. It's just.

[difficult.

it wears her down, to think that she is deserving of any happiness at all, after all she's done. does it make her feel any better, to get the okay from steve, despite never telling him that he had encountered a peggy carter in another universe and cut her in half with the alternative of the shield he used as a symbol of honor? of protection?]

she doesn't know. it's hard to parse.]

I did so many awful things after you left.

[things that she is yet to be open about with any of the original avengers, afraid, still, of how they'll see her actions. even if they can put together a bit of a story from the snippets she has shared, willingly or otherwise. stephen never really told them the whole story, either.

and for one small, vulnerable moment:]

I told him I feel the same for him.
But what if I lose him too?

[the way she's lost everyone she's ever loved?]

Yes, I'm a telepath so I thought breaking into her mind was a worthwhile endeavor. Wanda also mentally interrogated her, we have discussed sharing what she told us with everyone. Kyle and Lucifer also told me what they learned from their interrogations, so we know some things.

She didn't know who the shrines were originally to, unfortunately, so no answers on the shrine monster. She was trying to find a way to be a vessel to one of their gods. She believed that the Summoned were unworthy for their connection to the gods/the Singularity and they were trying to steal that from us. Thorne attempted the same thing in the early days, seeing if they could take our connection and use it on one of their own. They believed that using metamorphosis could get people closer to the divine, that's why they experimented on us. The vision would be proof that the direct attempt worked and she wanted to extract the vision from all of you. We escaped before that was possible.

All of her accomplices were found and they have no other places to hide. She said they were a recent sect, only in the last year. They attempted to contact all the gods for help and Nikodaemus was apparently the one that answered and helped 'bless' their enchantments. That is why she thinks they were so powerful. Some of this is more about belief than proof. I don't think they saw Nikodaemus and he spoke to them, it was more that 'proof' happened by actions being successful.

The vision may very well have been successfully enabled. It is possible what you saw was a connection to the native gods here. It would line up with some of what people saw, when it was similar to the situation with the heralds.

[ Steve has been told about these awful things in fairly vague terms, and based on what he'd heard from Stephen, it had definitely not sounded good. But he'd also gathered from Stephen that Wanda had been under some kind of outside influence. If Steve's been willing to forgive Bucky for what he's done, for the blood on his hands, then shouldn't he do the same for her?

She's proven herself plenty of times over since then, here in Abraxas. Sure, Steve's curious, but he also doesn't think it's right to interrogate it too much either. He'd rather judge Wanda by her actions here, rather than what she did with the Darkhold's claws in her. ]

I can't guarantee that you won't lose him, not when people can leave this place with no warning, and for no rhyme or reason. So I'm not going to promise you that it'll be okay.

You have to decide if you're willing to take that risk, and if you're ready to open up your heart to someone new when there's the chance that you'll lose them. On the other hand, both of you still exist back home. Maybe you can track him down again, after everything. And maybe he won't remember, but you'll have a second chance.

[ That's a lot of writing, and Steve's grateful that Istredd is willing to "think" it all out for him. He hadn't realized about the telepath thing either, but given that Istredd is an accomplished mage, he shouldn't be surprised. As he mentions, this is something Wanda can do too. ]

It's pretty odd that a giant monster just disappeared into the sea and there's been no sign of it since then. Is it just hanging out at the bottom of the ocean?

[ More of a rhetorical question. Moving on... ]

How much do we know about this Nikodaemus? Sorry to ask you for a religious studies lesson, but there isn't much about the old gods here in Cadens.

Either way, it sounds like for better or worse, those visions did mean something. They have some sort of importance and legitimacy to them.

[steve, always so practical, looking for practical solutions. the issue, however, is the fact that — well, some people in her inner circle might not really know this, huh.]

I think here is all we both have, unless we get sent back to some point in time in the past. It was always going to be a risk anyway.

[and those are shenanigans that she wants to definitely look into. but also, reading between the lines, the idea that she herself is not 'around' at present, and neither is matt, after his stunt with a building falling on him.]

He's very self-sacrificial. Some things happened back home for him, so he's been going at things alone. Doesn't want others to worry, so we haven't really talked much about what happened when you guys were taken, but I know being without his senses was... pretty rough for him.

[so it's not so much just losing him in the sense that he leaves without warning, but that he pulls away from everyone.]

You talk to him sometimes, right?

I know Castiel was hoping to learn more about that, but none of us are allowed near the island to go looking as far as I know. I doubt it's the last we've seen of it.

[ The shrine monster was more than a typical monster. It had been talking to them through the shrine, or that was Istredd's assumption when it kept persuading them to open it. That means it is smart, far smarter than a typical animal. If it went underground, it may show itself another day. Not unlike the turtle that saved them. ]

There's not much here either, from what we know, he is a god of illusions, which is why they were able to hide us so long. You should talk to Wanda, I believe Solvunn is the only place with information on the gods. She was open to making us a pantheon of some kind.

Yes, some of the visions related to the heralds. Whoever the dark figure was, I'm not sure any of us know.

[ Here is all they have? What is Wanda implying by that? Is it what Steve thinks it is? He can't just gloss over that. ]

What do you mean by that, Wanda?

[ It does sound like Matt is the sort of person to retreat into himself and not share too much, even with those who matter to him, or maybe especially with them. Steve can tell that Wanda doesn't want to pry too much, but it must be hard. ]

Yeah, he definitely didn't have the best time of it there. As you can imagine. I did what I could to look out for him, and now that he's healed up we're doing some sparring sessions together.

Yeah, same here. It's bound to show up again.

[ Steve's even made some sketches so that they can investigate it further, but nothing's come up about it just yet.

A god of illusions. Like Loki? Eugh. ]

I'll ask Wanda then, we check in with each other regularly. And yeah, it seems like there's still a lot of unanswered questions about all of this.

Either way, I'll find out what I can about the Free Cities and the Singularity and get back to you.

[one serious question at a time, steve.]

How is he when he fights? Does he keep up with you?
We did some mock fighting on a roof one time, but I think he was holding back on me. I've never seen him fight.

[so she doesn't really know how good he's supposed to be. wanda has mostly seen the lawyer side of him in action, but she can gauge how good he is if he can keep up (or not) with steve.

just small things she's curious about.]

Don't tell him I've told you.

He got pulled into Abraxas as he was inside a building that exploded. We've talked about this. I... destroyed a building on myself, too, when I last saw Stephen. I don't think our lives would ever intersect even if we were sent back.

[sent back to being dead.]

Given that he's not enhanced? What he's able to do is extremely impressive. The result of years and years of training. I'd say you'd have to pit him and Nat against each other to get a real answer, though.

[ Even with Steve pulling back his punches, it's hard to judge. But he can tell when someone's skilled.

Wanda does get around to answering his question. Matt trapped in an exploded building, whereas Wanda had brought one down on her own head. It's the first time she's mentioned it. Stephen certainly hadn't. ]

Why is this the first I'm hearing about this? Still, it sounds like neither of you can be completely sure that that was the end of it.
Either way, I understand why you wouldn't want to bet on it. You still haven't really answered my question, though. Are you ready to take the risk?

[ And, so she doesn't feel like she's being put on the spot: ]

The answer to that can be no, by the way.

If we can get a pantheon, it may at least be a source of assistance if this happens again and we need to counter High Magic spells.

Thank you, Steve. Please be careful, the last thing I want is for you to get in trouble in your faction.

A lot of that goes over my head, to be honest, but I'm glad we have so many experienced magic-users here.

[ Istredd included, it seems. ]

And don't worry. I'm good at getting myself into trouble, but I'm also good at getting myself out if it.

[ It'll be fine. Probably. ]

[well, if matt's ever open to the idea of telling natasha about what he can do, then that's probably something worth exploring. for now, the conversation spans towards something a little more important in the grand scheme of things.

(grand praise from steve, though.)]

It's not exactly simple to talk about.

[and while she does feel put on the spot, she appreciates that he's giving her an out. who would have thought she would end up talking about these things with steve?]

I think it's more of a risk for others to take a chance on me.

[the avengers, vision, now matt and everyone else in abraxas—she has never been asked if she wants to take her chances, because she was the risk.]

He makes me feel normal.
I would risk anything for that.

Edited 2023-06-11 02:02 (UTC)

[ If he wants his domain to feel anything like home, yeah, there should be traffic. But he's clearing it for Nero's benefit. ]

Got it. See you soon.

[ As soon as an unknown vehicle enters Steve's domain, he's aware of it. He isn't even sure how, but it's like something pings in his mind and he just knows. More weird magic stuff that he tries not to think too hard about, if he's honest.

True to his word, the streets are clear. Nero will drive past a park that feels pretty out of place among all the skyscrapers, and he'll even spot some food carts on the sidewalk. Eventually his path will lead him right to Steve, who's standing on the street corner, hands in his pockets.

He frowns when he realizes it isn't even Nero driving. Huh, that's... a smoke person? All right. He also spots something else inside, something that looks more animal than human, though it's hard to make out much more than that through the window. Still, the Devil May Cry sign is front and center, so there's no denying this is Nero. ]

Hey. Uhh. [ He makes a sweeping gesture with his hand. ] Park anywhere.

[ It's not easy to talk about, no. Even if Wanda isn't certain that she's dead back home, it sounds like that had been the intention, and that doesn't feel like something he wants to nudge at when they're talking like this, with just written mental messages. ]

I know. And I guess that means that like Natasha, you don't have any intention of going home?

[ That had always been Steve's plan, but knowing what he does about his supposed future, he's in less of a rush these days.

This isn't about him, though. ]

I get why you feel that way, even if I've never considered you a liability. [ Maybe that's his own blind spot, who knows. ] And remember this, Wanda. If you go for it and Matt does end up vanishing, you won't be alone. There's still Sam and Nat and me, and everyone else you've come to know here.

Matt keeps talking about making me this promise of spending a day in New York together. He gets really religious about it. Second chances or something. He's made me think about the possibility of using some of the summoning ritual magic and control when and how we return.

[time shenanigans, basically. she's still working out the details, but that's a conversation to have with stephen.

and, boy, this conversation happening mentally means that wanda is on the other end just wringing her hands together, painfully so. it makes her nervous, and she doesn't even know why. maybe it reminds her so much of vision? the moment they decided to take that risk, the skies opened up to bring terror and an end to what they had.

the text comes through a little strangled, smaller than usual, as if scared to put it out there even as a consideration:]

I don't know that I can handle another loss like that, Steve.

[she gets what he is trying to say, but— but— she's never stopped losing. even with him and sam and nat, and everyone else from this world, it's hard to not think of how alone she'll be in that scenario.]

— sometimes I wish I were closer to you guys.

Edited 2023-06-11 02:46 (UTC)

[Fortuna's a hell of a city, but he can admit that New York's got this whole vibe of its own, way different than the stone castles and soaring cathedrals of Nero's childhood. (Well. There's churches, at least. That tracks.) The streets are paved, painted with bright or faded lines, instead of dirt or ancient cracked stone pathways.

Nero's head pokes out the passenger side window as they drive, sniffing the air for something that smells suspiciously like -- fuck. Hot dogs. But eh stand's in the rearview mirror before he realizes... and maybe it'd be rude to make the guy wait.

The van rolls to a stop, but not before the visage that is Nico lays on the horn to see if she can get a rise out of Steve. Nero curses at her, climbing out of the van to let her park.]

Sorry about that. She's a dick. [He doesn't explain further.] Nice little slice of city life you got.

[ Istredd smiles to himself. ]

Well, I have seen that myself from you, so I have faith.

[ They all managed to get out of serious trouble, but Steve saved his life. ]

I don't think you're the only one looking into that sort of thing, for the record. And if anyone is going to pull it off, it's you.

[ Who knows. Maybe she and Matt could have that day in New York together. Steve would like nothing more than to see that become a reality, even if it's not one he gets to witness.

When her next response comes, Steve sighs to himself, aware of how hard this has to be. But he won't lie to her and assure her that everything will be fine when he has zero way of actually knowing that. ]

I know. Even with the Horizon and Nocwich, it isn't always enough.
Speaking of which, are you and Matt going to keep up with the long-distance thing? Has he considered trying to find a way to cross borders to Solvunn?

[ Would it make this all easier for Wanda to bear, if he did? ]

There are many things to consider for a spell of that kind, especially with the limitations we have here.
Stephen is helping me.

[look! she’s playing nice with the sorcerer! so, that’s a step plenty in a better direction, despite their history.

as far as her comment regarding this division between factions, she hopes steve knows that she doesn’t only mean it because of matt. it’s weird how the majority of the avengers (or past avengers…) who are currently here were ‘team cap’. the fact that wanda feels the most familiar with natasha, sam, and steve—especially with all their years on the run—means that she does hate that they’re not always in a place where wanda can just go up to them.

and then part of her remembers that maybe she’s better off keeping her distance.

hmm—the deprecating thoughts never truly go away.]

I think we are. I don’t want him to come to Solvunn.
I mean. It’d be great if we were together a lot of the time, but he would get bored here. I think all you New York people would. Goats don’t really need legal representation.

[and there is no way in hell that she is going to go to the free cities, with what it represents and values most, with its military and science.]

[ The sudden blaring of the horn does make Steve's back straighten, but he doesn't flinch any more than that. In a place like New York City, honking like that is pretty much par for the course, so he's used to hearing it.

The fact that the driver of the van is some kind of shadowy figure is a little more on the strange side. Steve tilts his head as Nero approaches. ]

She? [ He's still going to ask, even if Nero doesn't explain. ] And yeah, thanks. I figured we could head up to my apartment. It'll be a little more comfortable there.

[ Thankfully, there seems to be a hot dog cart on almost every corner, if Nero did want to grab one. ]

That's good to hear.

[ Stephen and Wanda working together is huge, given how tense things have been between them since they both received memories of their futures (pasts, now?). Steve's glad to hear that they've come to some sort of understanding, even if it's purely professional. ]

I would check in with Viktor about it too. I know it's one of his main research interests.

[ Steve would never suggest Wanda come to the Free Cities. If she'd wanted to do that, she would have mentioned it a long time ago, and he can guess at why she has no interest. Still, she's probably right that none of the "city folk" would do well in Solvunn either. ]

Nocwich has to be a blessing for you two, then. At least you can see each other in person once a month.

[At the question, he shrugs.] Nico. The driver.

[It's more than he's told anyone, not that Steve knowns. It's like explaining the phone booth, or the panther. It's just shit the Horizon pulled out of his brain, that he either can't get rid of or doesn't want to. They're just surface-level shards of him, things maybe the Horizon or the Singularity or whatever thinks means something. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't.

An apartment, huh? Maybe he lives alone out there, too.] Yeah, gimme a sec.

[There's no way he's not grabbing a hot dog: loaded with onions and relish and mustard, which he's already half-eaten by the time he gets back to Steve. He gives him a thumbs up.] All set.

[He follows Steve up whatever stairs and buildings he's got, listening to the sounds of a pretty bustling city block. The hotdog's good. Fresh. As hot as a real one right off the corner.] So's there anything else you wanna know, or you just want in on how I'm gonna kill some Solvunn gods?

[ Nico, the driver. That doesn't explain much of anything about what Steve saw, but he's noticed that Nero's a bit cagey about his life back home as a general rule. All Steve really knows is that he has experience with cults and that he himself is not human. Or not entirely human, at least.

He huffs out a laugh and nods when Nero makes a beeline for one of the hotdog carts. He could grab one for himself, and maybe he'll conjure one up later. Wanda's training has made him a lot better at just creating things on the fly in here.

As might be expected, the fake building housing Steve's fake apartment is a walk-up. It's been a long time since he actually had an apartment in Brooklyn, so this is kind of wish fulfillment for himself. The interior is mainly reminiscent of his old apartment in DC, but he probably doesn't need to explain all that.

As they reach the right floor, Steve digs into his pocket for a ring of keys. Again, none of this is necessary, but there's something comforting about the routine of it all. He glances back at Nero, whose question effectively brings Steve back to reality. ]

Well, I don't know how much I'd be able to help from the Free Cities, but I am interested to hear more about what you're planning.

[ Here they are, the door to his apartment. He steps up to stick the key in the knob. ]

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